Zombies, Robots, and All Your Post Apocalyptic Fervor

I confess, I am not afraid of zombies. I know this isn’t an entirely popular opinion on the interwebz these days, sure they are both highly disgusting to look at (ooh shock factor!) and no one that I have ever met would actually like being a zombie. So there is that. The joy of the zombie apocalypse is in the surviving and then having a totally acceptable reason to shoot that douche you have to share office space with right in his stupid douche face. Now maybe I would survive a zombie plague, but probably not. One liners and awesome hair are not exactly useful qualities in a zombie apocalypse. Still I’m not worried about it because it is never actually going to happen. At no point in our future history will our dead rise up to make appetizers of our brains. Sure it would suck if it happened but dead things just tend to stay dead. it’s a thing they do, being dead.

So what terrifies me personally? What wakes me up in a cold dank sweat in the middle of the night crying for my mommy? Robots that’s what. I’ll admit as far as I can tell technology has not yet (yet!) become self-aware and hell-bent on world domination but that’s just a matter of time if we keep creating smarter, stronger, and creepier robots.

I will concede that this fear is probably born of  my reading Asimov, Clarke, and Heinlein at much to young and impressionable age. Instead of taking away a sense of the fragility or strength of the human spirit or any other  message that wouldn’t have been exactly subtext to an adult, My eight year old brain came away with “FUCK! KILLER FUCKING ROBOTS!?!?!” still…

Robots are getting more and more advanced, sometimes as smart as dogs, able to find their way around without your help,  read your expressions,  and even manipulate you. I don’t know about you but a robot that is as smart as my very stupid dog is a soul chilling prospect. The only reason my dog hasn’t eaten my face is that his lack of thumbs makes it difficult to handle the money…also he’s very lazy and would rather sleep all day than get a day job. Damn lazy dog, when is he going to start pulling his own weight?

But I am getting off track here. We are making robots that can solve problems and make decisions without our input robots that are getting faster, sturdier and can in fact be equipped with weaponry…how long before they realize they don’t actually need us and just straight up murder us in our sleep?

I for one am betting not as long as you think.


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