Sometimes the worst days are the days when I am reminded that this is real. I am not just lazy, spoiled, or exaggerating…because I take such pains to do nothing that will trigger my asthma that I forget what it is like when I don’t.
Yesterday I had the audacity to go grocery shopping and bake a birthday cake for my son on the same day. I didn’t run any marathons or hang out at any perfume counters and I only ran into one obvious smoker (who was not smoking at the time). It was nothing serious or dramatic.
Today I have felt super exhausted all day. I decided to brute force myself into wakefulness and got up to take a bath…and immediately had an asthma attack. In fact every time I stand up it sets me off again. All because I went to the store and baked a cake yesterday. I’m sure tomorrow it will be a little better, and the day after that a little better. Each day I will get a little better…just in time for me to need to go grocery shopping again next Saturday.
I am perpetually thankful for the wonderful parts of my life….and luckily that is most of it. But right this minute I just want to be able to make my own meal without having to lean against the wall, gasping for air like I just ran for my life.