I’m not doing well right now.
I worry about dying, asthma or an infected tooth.
I worry about leaving my family alone.
I worry about being a burden-dragging people down
im so tired of fighting so hard to repeatedly have it come to nothing
I worry I’m giving up, burning out, or burning up
I worry about not being able to work for weeks because the kids and I are sick, because it’s dangerously hot, because I have a toothache
no margin for error
my hands only hold errors and despair
I have intrusive thoughts and don’t know who I’m supppsed to reach out to.
I am to tired to figure it out.
to tired to find the right words, pay the proper respects
to tired to find the bridge
to tired to be the bridge
maybe next week I will be inspiring
maybe next week I will be educational
maybe next week I will be productive
maybe next week I will be worthy
maybe next week I will be proud
today all I have is survival
today all I have is grinding step after step after step
today all I have is that I am here and I wrote this
today that will have to be enough