​My heart feels like rotten potato salad. 

it’s leaking. weeping ichor

I know this is part of my flare cycle

all I can do is ride it out, remind myself that my brain is lying, that I am more than a useless burden (etc) 

If I try to push it, I will just end up back in the life eclipsing pain and fatigue flare. 

Back at the bottom of the lake 

with no energy to crawl out yet again

so I’m trying to ride it out, rest, and remind myself that I will probably get back to my higher ground. 

at some point

So as much as I want to make a to do list

and check things off

feel like I am catching up

Today I am going to rest as much as possible

catch up on some shows

remind my brain it’s lying

and hope tomorrow is a better day

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